Narration Noir

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

Director: Shane Black

Rated: R

I love those old movies that have the main character doing voice overs on top of the whole thing. I love Val Kilmer and Robert Downey Jr. I love murder mysteries and characters that are much stronger than people think.

Ergo, I love this movie.

The cast and characters are terrific. Our main characters are Harry Lockhart, Perry Van Shrike (given the nickname Gay Perry—because he's gay) and Harmony Faith Lane. Just look at those names and tell me you don't think this movie's already awesome. I triple dog dare you.

It even starts out with an adorable scene starring Indio Downey, Robert Downey Jr's son, as a young Harry Lockhart. He's performing as "Harold the Great" to the crowd at the fair with Harmony Faith Lane as his assistant. It's going all normal until Harmony starts screaming like... Well, like the chainsaw is actually cutting her in half. Freaked out, Harry starts working on the padlock that closes the box. When Harmony's father get's up to the stage and the box is opened, we all find out that Harmony just had her legs safely tucked up as high as they would go. And what does this precocious and undeniably adorable little girl have to say about this to her freaked out dad and magician best friend?

"I'm going to be an actress."

Dad raises his hand to backhand her and the credits start with some gorgeous jazzy music by John Ottman. He also did the music for The Usual Suspects, another one of my all-time favorite crime mystery movies.

In all honestly, I consider the opening credits to be one of the other highlights of this movie. They remind me of some old Saul Bass title sequences.

As soon as the credits finish we're introduced to adult Harry. In Los Angeles. He tells us he'll be our narrator for the duration of the movie. It's Christmas time* and he's at a party where he doesn't know a single person other than his agent, Dabney Shaw (played by the hi-larious Larry Miller). He barely knows Dabney in the first place. Why?

Because the entire reason Harry is in LA with Dabney Shaw as his agent was due to a stroke of luck (sort of). He was originally robbing a closed toy store with a friend whilst on the phone with his neice, Chloe, who was trying to describe a Cyberman doll she wanted for Christmas. Which makes me wonder, to this day, if Harry has a sister (or brother) still back in Indiana... But that's not really important. What's important is the alarm hack slips and he and his partner in crime go running.

In escaping the police, Harry quite literally bursts into an audition for some sort of cop drama. He gets wound up during his cold read, delivers an outstanding performance, and gets flown to LA to get detective lessons from "Gay Perry."

Cut back to the party.

"Uh, I'm retired. I invented dice when I was a kid."

I'm jumping the gun here, but Harmony is at the same party.

She finds out that the host of the party has a collection of all the Johnny Gossamer pulp novels she used to read as a kid.

And Harry is introduced to Perry after getting his ass kicked by a sleazy guy all in the name of Harmony's honor (it just so happens that Harry didn't recognize her). I love how this short conversation between Harry and Perry sets the tone between them for the rest of the movie. Meaning, Perry sounds smart and witty and Harry sounds like an idiot in comparison. 

"One of these days I'm gonna learn how to fight."

Perry helps patch up our hapless hero in the kitchen of the main house and explains the reason why there's a party at Harlan Dexter's home in the first place. We soon learn that, in no uncertain terms, Perry is Awesome®.

After leaving the party and getting a lead from Perry on where Harmony might be, Harry comes across a club. He immediately runs into this chick named Flicka who plays a vital role in a tiny scene later on. She, like every other LA girl, asks Harry what he does.

"I'm a private detective."

Flicka politely leaves him and Harry scans the crowd for that more-than-familiar dark blonde "gal." Yes, he calls her a "gal," and I find that incredibly endearing. The way he speaks, in general, is adorable. For example:

"Wow, I feel sore. I mean physically, not like a guy who's angry in a movie in the 1950's."

Harry finds Harmony at the bar and, after some humorous back-and-forth that's interrupted by Harmony's "scary friend," Harmony pulls some impressive faces and tells Harry who she is and how she totally remembers him.

Herp derp.

Those are the three main characters right there. The important ones. And Flicka.

Here's the thing: if they re-released this movie this year, Shane Black and Warner Brothers would make a mint. Robert Downey Jr is such a huge star right now, and all of us who love this movie would definitely go see it in the theater. 

Everything in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang just gels. The snappy dialogue, the glittering visuals, the characters that these actors play... I already have this soft-spot for Val Kilmer (I loved Willow) but his no-nonsense, hard ass, snarky Gay Perry is probably the best thing he's ever done. It's also refreshing to have a gay character who is not made up entirely of stereotypes (though he does end up perpetuating a couple, his character is not one-dimensional). Perry is a badass. He is the smartest character in the movie, and at the end of it all you want to see more of him. Especially after the scene where he confronts Harmony's father.

"Yeah, that's right. Big tough guy."

The story is not so much about the mystery of the murder as it is about Harry Lockhart's journey through the detective story. It's about him finishing something. He mentions to Harmony how he cuts out before the finish to avoid conflict, and this is his journey to see the conflict through to the bitter end. 

This is about Harry leaving his comfort zone. 

The DVD is great. Though it lacks any behind the scenes stuff, there's a hilarious (and long) gag reel and a commentary track with Robert, Val, and Shane. I wish every movie made came with these two special features. When Tropic Thunder came with the same kind of extras (including Robert taking his line "man, I don't drop character 'til I done the DVD commentary" literally), I immediately bought a copy just for the extras. Really, it's these extras that make me buy the DVD—if a movie I watched comes out on DVD, but doesn't have special features, I will end up not buying the DVD. Because, to me, it isn't worth it. 

The point of this post is this: buy the DVD. See the movie. It's charming and smart and worth multiple watches. There are things you'll notice on repeated viewings. Take a shot with it. It's one of my top five all-time favorite movies. 

Maybe even number one. 

But that's another post entirely.

*As this movie is set during Christmas (something Shane Black seems to like doing), it gets added to that list of movies that I watch every year. So: Rudolph, Die Hard, and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

Not Your Average Slasher Movie

Tucker & Dale Vs Evil (2010)

Director: Eli Craig

Rated: R

I recently came across this movie after browsing through the horror tag over on Trailer Addict, and I couldn't be happier for finding it. The premise of the movie is a flip on the tired old "college kids being hunted in the woods" one that we have seen over and over. Instead, the unfortunate hillbillies are mistaken for murderous kidnappers and are attacked by the college kids.

Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Tyler Labine) are a pair of best friends set out to a cabin in the woods of West Virginia to fix it up as a vacation home and do a little fishing. Early on in the movie you get the feeling that these two have known each other since they were little kids (which is proven in a line of dialogue later on), and they are a pair of really likable guys. 

In parallel, we have the stereotypical college kids heading out to the backwoods to party. The usual horror tropes follow: the kids are nearly in a car accident as Tucker is pulling out in the road, the kids are off-put by Tucker's appearance at a gas station, and Dale accidentally scares the crap out of the kids by trying to flirt with Allison (Katrina Bowden) whilst inexplicably holding a scythe (he was given advice from Tucker to "smile and laugh" and the payoff is both hilarious and slightly sad). 

Let's be honest here. He's adorable.

So, plot things happen, Allison cracks her head on a rock while getting ready to go skinny dipping, Dale (who is night fishing with Tucker and trying not to peep at Allison while she takes her shirt off) jumps in and saves her from drowning, and her friends see this:

"We got your friend!"

They assume that Dale is trying to eat her face. Because they're kind of dimwitted. They run off, leaving Tucker and Dale to return to the cabin with Allison. They bandage her head, dress her in some less revealing clothes, and Dale makes her breakfast. Twice. 

Meanwhile, back with the college kids, they are all assuming the worst has happened to Allison. Chad, the "leader" of the group, vows revenge. One character, Chuck, decides to go back to the car to drive into town and get help. Upon finding Tucker's cabin, everyone assumes the worst. Everyone except Mitch (whose name I only know because it's on his shirt), who keeps interjecting with actual logic. Such as: "perhaps they took Allison to the hospital," and "it's just a cabin, it doesn't mean they're psycho killers." Mitch is therefore the only smart one of the bunch. But he's still nervous about just going in there alone.

To be fair, this place does remind me a lot of the cabin in Evil Dead.

Meanerwhile, after some awkward explanations, Allison and Dale end up playing a trivia game together while Tucker does some yard work. All while this is going on, Mitch is approaching the cabin to talk with either Tucker or Dale, and Tucker is using a chainsaw to break up a tree stump. Which has a bee's nest inside it. This leads to Tucker fleeing the immediate area all while swinging the chainsaw around like Leatherface and causes Mitch (and the others) to run in a panic.

This is when the insane accidental deaths start happening.

Back with the trivia game, we're given a little more insight into Dale. It's revealed that he is incredibly good at retaining information but never made it past the third grade. He considers himself stupid because of that fact. Allison tells him: "there's a difference between education and intellect." 

In general, Dale has very low self-esteem. We see Tucker often try and boost the guy's mood and point out the positives in Dale's personality, but it's hard to just suddenly gain self-worth when it's so easy to think negatively about oneself. It also doesn't help when Tucker loses his temper with Dale and blames him for some things. 

Allison then proceeds to nail the premise of the movie on the proverbial head when she says that: "so many of the major problems and conflicts in the world are caused by a lack of communication."

Such as: "we've got your friend."

Tucker returns, covered in bee stings, and tells Allison that he saw one of her friends while he was outside. Allison suggests she go find them herself, but Dale is rightfully concerned about her leaving considering she hit her head hard enough to knock herself out for quite a while. Instead, he and Tucker head out.

Then the group of college kids find Mitch and assume that Tucker and Dale killed him. 

There's a nice touch here where one character is starting to call someone on her cell phone, but Chad breaks it in a fit, claiming that it'll never work out in the woods. She could have gotten a through to someone if the idiot hadn't destroyed her phone—which is a nice turn on the "phones don't work out here" trope so often used in horror movies. 

Chad is starting to show signs of being, well, a little unhinged. It does not help whatsoever that he and the other college kids overhear an out-of-context conversation between Tucker and Dale. It really doesn't help when Dale decides it would be a good idea to leave them all a note to let them know that Allison is safe. 

It really, really doesn't help that Dale wrote the note with a freaking axe.

So things get worse. College kids die like they're competing for Darwin awards. Allison gets knocked unconscious again, Chuck finds a cop who was established earlier on in the movie, and shenanigans ensue.

Stupid: diving headfirst into a wood chipper. 

The movie just keeps escalating from here on out, and I won't give away anymore spoilers because it's worth watching. Alan Tudyk is perfect, Tyler Labine is a big ole softy, and Katrina Bowden is blissfully normal (especially in comparison to the other two girls who are pretty much just caricatures).

Essentially, Tucker & Dale Vs Evil is a spoof movie for the "creepy/murderous hillbillies" horror genre. I would have liked to have a better idea of who each of the college kids were, considering I didn't know half of their names. That, however, is the only complaint I have for the movie on a whole. Well, that, and one continuity issue regarding fingers that bothered me. I do recommend it, though. 

Watch it for Tucker and Dale.

All in all, Tucker & Dale Vs Evil is a fun movie to watch. Go buy it, rent it, or whatever it.