Narration Noir

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

Director: Shane Black

Rated: R

I love those old movies that have the main character doing voice overs on top of the whole thing. I love Val Kilmer and Robert Downey Jr. I love murder mysteries and characters that are much stronger than people think.

Ergo, I love this movie.

The cast and characters are terrific. Our main characters are Harry Lockhart, Perry Van Shrike (given the nickname Gay Perry—because he's gay) and Harmony Faith Lane. Just look at those names and tell me you don't think this movie's already awesome. I triple dog dare you.

It even starts out with an adorable scene starring Indio Downey, Robert Downey Jr's son, as a young Harry Lockhart. He's performing as "Harold the Great" to the crowd at the fair with Harmony Faith Lane as his assistant. It's going all normal until Harmony starts screaming like... Well, like the chainsaw is actually cutting her in half. Freaked out, Harry starts working on the padlock that closes the box. When Harmony's father get's up to the stage and the box is opened, we all find out that Harmony just had her legs safely tucked up as high as they would go. And what does this precocious and undeniably adorable little girl have to say about this to her freaked out dad and magician best friend?

"I'm going to be an actress."

Dad raises his hand to backhand her and the credits start with some gorgeous jazzy music by John Ottman. He also did the music for The Usual Suspects, another one of my all-time favorite crime mystery movies.

In all honestly, I consider the opening credits to be one of the other highlights of this movie. They remind me of some old Saul Bass title sequences.

As soon as the credits finish we're introduced to adult Harry. In Los Angeles. He tells us he'll be our narrator for the duration of the movie. It's Christmas time* and he's at a party where he doesn't know a single person other than his agent, Dabney Shaw (played by the hi-larious Larry Miller). He barely knows Dabney in the first place. Why?

Because the entire reason Harry is in LA with Dabney Shaw as his agent was due to a stroke of luck (sort of). He was originally robbing a closed toy store with a friend whilst on the phone with his neice, Chloe, who was trying to describe a Cyberman doll she wanted for Christmas. Which makes me wonder, to this day, if Harry has a sister (or brother) still back in Indiana... But that's not really important. What's important is the alarm hack slips and he and his partner in crime go running.

In escaping the police, Harry quite literally bursts into an audition for some sort of cop drama. He gets wound up during his cold read, delivers an outstanding performance, and gets flown to LA to get detective lessons from "Gay Perry."

Cut back to the party.

"Uh, I'm retired. I invented dice when I was a kid."

I'm jumping the gun here, but Harmony is at the same party.

She finds out that the host of the party has a collection of all the Johnny Gossamer pulp novels she used to read as a kid.

And Harry is introduced to Perry after getting his ass kicked by a sleazy guy all in the name of Harmony's honor (it just so happens that Harry didn't recognize her). I love how this short conversation between Harry and Perry sets the tone between them for the rest of the movie. Meaning, Perry sounds smart and witty and Harry sounds like an idiot in comparison. 

"One of these days I'm gonna learn how to fight."

Perry helps patch up our hapless hero in the kitchen of the main house and explains the reason why there's a party at Harlan Dexter's home in the first place. We soon learn that, in no uncertain terms, Perry is Awesome®.

After leaving the party and getting a lead from Perry on where Harmony might be, Harry comes across a club. He immediately runs into this chick named Flicka who plays a vital role in a tiny scene later on. She, like every other LA girl, asks Harry what he does.

"I'm a private detective."

Flicka politely leaves him and Harry scans the crowd for that more-than-familiar dark blonde "gal." Yes, he calls her a "gal," and I find that incredibly endearing. The way he speaks, in general, is adorable. For example:

"Wow, I feel sore. I mean physically, not like a guy who's angry in a movie in the 1950's."

Harry finds Harmony at the bar and, after some humorous back-and-forth that's interrupted by Harmony's "scary friend," Harmony pulls some impressive faces and tells Harry who she is and how she totally remembers him.

Herp derp.

Those are the three main characters right there. The important ones. And Flicka.

Here's the thing: if they re-released this movie this year, Shane Black and Warner Brothers would make a mint. Robert Downey Jr is such a huge star right now, and all of us who love this movie would definitely go see it in the theater. 

Everything in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang just gels. The snappy dialogue, the glittering visuals, the characters that these actors play... I already have this soft-spot for Val Kilmer (I loved Willow) but his no-nonsense, hard ass, snarky Gay Perry is probably the best thing he's ever done. It's also refreshing to have a gay character who is not made up entirely of stereotypes (though he does end up perpetuating a couple, his character is not one-dimensional). Perry is a badass. He is the smartest character in the movie, and at the end of it all you want to see more of him. Especially after the scene where he confronts Harmony's father.

"Yeah, that's right. Big tough guy."

The story is not so much about the mystery of the murder as it is about Harry Lockhart's journey through the detective story. It's about him finishing something. He mentions to Harmony how he cuts out before the finish to avoid conflict, and this is his journey to see the conflict through to the bitter end. 

This is about Harry leaving his comfort zone. 

The DVD is great. Though it lacks any behind the scenes stuff, there's a hilarious (and long) gag reel and a commentary track with Robert, Val, and Shane. I wish every movie made came with these two special features. When Tropic Thunder came with the same kind of extras (including Robert taking his line "man, I don't drop character 'til I done the DVD commentary" literally), I immediately bought a copy just for the extras. Really, it's these extras that make me buy the DVD—if a movie I watched comes out on DVD, but doesn't have special features, I will end up not buying the DVD. Because, to me, it isn't worth it. 

The point of this post is this: buy the DVD. See the movie. It's charming and smart and worth multiple watches. There are things you'll notice on repeated viewings. Take a shot with it. It's one of my top five all-time favorite movies. 

Maybe even number one. 

But that's another post entirely.

*As this movie is set during Christmas (something Shane Black seems to like doing), it gets added to that list of movies that I watch every year. So: Rudolph, Die Hard, and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

Hunting For the Real Antagonist

The Hunted (2003)

Dir: William Friedkin

Rated: R

Yes, that William Friedkin. The one who directed William Peter Blatty's The Exorcist. The man who created one of the scariest films of all time. Users on IMDb rate this particular movie a 5.8 out of 10 stars—considering the harsh grading curve of the site, that's actually on just this side of "It's okay." And while I'll admit I was engrossed in it because of my affection for Tommy Lee Jones and Benicio Del Toro, there was something... "Lacking."

An antagonist.

Before I get too far into anything, I'd like to mention that Johnny Cash's "The Man Comes Around" is used as a voice-over in the beginning. It's fairly fitting.

"God said to Abraham, 'Kill me a son.'

Abe says, 'Man, you must be puttin' me on.'

God says, 'No'; Abe says, 'What?'

God says, 'You can do what you want, Abe, but the next time you see me comin', you better run.'

Abe says, 'Where do you want this killin' done?'

God says, 'Out on Highway 61.'"

We're given Aaron Hallam (Del Toro) as our supposed antagonist, but I just feel too horrible for him to think of him as anything other than a victim. Remember First Blood and how John Rambo couldn't "turn off" his instinct to kill after the war? That's what Aaron is dealing with. He's Special Forces. At the beginning of the movie he's given an operation in Kosovo to carry out. He saves a lot of American soldiers, but looses part of himself during the brutal fight. The ultimate kick in the face is when he is awarded the Silver Star for his actions.

He goes AWOL after that.

He snapped.

I think this is the reason why I don't feel Aaron can be considered an outright antagonist. Not when my heart is breaking for him as he tries in vain to reconnect with humanity through a woman and her daughter that he's gotten to know since his time in Special Forces. The little girl brings out the curious, human side of him that got lost somewhere between training with Tommy Lee Jones' character, L.T., and being turned loose on groups of militants in a war zone with just a knife. He's been writing L.T. for ages talking about how he's terrified and how the nightmares are worse and he doesn't want to be this killing thing anymore. How L.T. has been like a father to him...

Symbolically, L.T. (who is living in Canada) releases a wolf from an illegal snare and dresses the animal's wound in one of the stranger moments in cinema—one of those things where you swear you know a guy like this and he's a wise man with the patience of the most strong-willed man. Despite his former job of training Special Forces (he isn't military) how to survive in the wilderness and kill with maximum efficiency, L.T. has never killed a man. Halfway through the movie, my brain inevitably linked him with Ben Kenobi.

Aaron hides in the woods in Portland and in his dementia brutally murders two elk hunters (they say "deer" in the movie but show an elk). Though the creepifying conversation they have as Aaron tracks them trough the woods is so cryptic I'm still not sure if the hunters were confused or actually sent out there to kill him. They don't succeed. This gains the FBI's attention and they bring L.T. in to see if he can find their "perps." No one thinks one man could have slaughtered the two hunters on his own.

It's when the two finally meet in the woods that the conflict loses it's credibility. Aaron is obviously conflicted and hurting—paranoid and wary of anyone. He is so damaged that we know within the first few minutes of him talking to L.T. that he will most likely die by the end of the movie.

I did warn you about spoilers...

The FBI manages to arrest Aaron. They don't get to talk to him for very long.

What follows is a chain of events that could have really made the movie much more interesting plot-wise had they not dismissed it ten minutes later with a massive wreck that has Aaron escaping military custody to visit the women he met who seem to ground him back in reality; Irene and her daughter Loretta.

Random fact: The home used in The Hunted where Irene and Loretta live is the same one used in Untraceable. It's a gorgeous home.

He wants so badly to tell her what he's been made to do, but he's terrified of scaring her. She's pretty much the only thing that is real to him in the world. In fact, he tells her he thinks it would be safer for her to leave Portland than stay anywhere near him for her and her daughter's safety. We don't hear what he tells her, but it's apparently convincing enough that she packs her bags and plans on leaving after picking Loretta up from school the next day.

I still haven't seen a flesh-and-blood antagonist. If we really have to pick, I'd say Aaron's mental disturbances. But that's a stretch. In a film like this one, it helps to have an antagonist that wants nothing more than to destroy the main character—and those guys were killed off in the wreck that allows Aaron to escape.

After another brush with L.T. and the FBI, Aaron goes on the run once more and we never hear of Irene or Loretta again. Both could be safe. Or, they could have been killed on their way out of Portland. I hate plotholes.

L.T. is finally given a chance to read one of the unmailed (or returned—it's never explicitly stated) letters addressed to him from Aaron and they all discover just how severe Aaron's lost grip on reality is. He thinks he's being hunted by robots.

Time out.

This? It felt like it was thrown in at the last second like: "Well, why is he all paranoid?" "Robots, dude. Terminators or something." "Sounds good."

No.

I understand leaving the air of ambiguousness in someone's motives leaves more to be discussed later on, but that was way out of left field. Aaron mentions those two elk hunters (still called deer hunters despite showing an elk at least three more times) were "sweepers" sent out after him. No more explanation is given. Though the creepy military guys that explain Aaron can't be held in FBI custody and belongs in military custody really did give off that X-Files vibe. And they were planning on killing him in the back of the transport van with a nasal poison in one of those tiny misting devices.

But we're taken back out into the wilderness after a really epic chase scene after Aaron runs out of Irene's house and takes off for the bridge (honestly, Tommy Lee Jones spends a lot of his career running after people) Aaron dives into the river to escape and L.T. takes it on as his "responsibility" to stop him.

He tracks Aaron down, and after a really painful looking knife fight (the fights, by the way, are amazingly real—the hits actually connect as proven by Del Toro's broken wrist during production) and I can't choose a side. Normally you pick one man to root for in a movie, but I've been hurting for both of them. L.T. never wanted to kill anyone—he just knows how and how to train people. Aaron never wanted to be stuck in that state of perpetual alert—he just wanted to serve his country.

So I guess the real antagonist could be the human conscience, but that feels lame. Even though the outcome was expected, it didn't hurt any less knowing that this man spent most of his life in a state of agony. Not physical, but mental. I think Tommy Lee Jones' action of placing his palm on Aaron's head once it's all over is gut-wrenching. The young man considered him to be like a father and L.T. could not have been that for him.

Aaron was lost.

It's a sad movie. Yeah, there are some amazing fight scenes and the like but my brain keeps cycling back to Fist Blood and that scene that actually makes me cry every time I see it:

Col. Trautman: You did everything to make this private war happen. You've done enough damage. This mission is over, Rambo. Do you understand me? This mission is over! Look at them out there! Look at them! If you won't end this now, they will kill you. Is that what you want? It's over Johnny. It's over!

John: Nothing is over! Nothing! You just don't turn it off! It wasn't my war! You asked me, I didn't ask you! And I did what I had to do to win! But somebody wouldn't let us win! And I come back to the world and I see all those maggots at the airport, protesting me, spitting. Calling me baby killer and all kinds of vile crap! Who are they to protest me? Who are they? Unless they've been me and been there and know what the hell they're yelling about!

Col. Trautman: It was a bad time for everyone, Rambo. It's all in the past now.

John: FOR YOU! For me civilian life is nothing! In the field we had a code of honor, you watch my back, I watch yours. Back here there's nothing!

Col. Trautman: You're the last of an elite group, don't end it like this.

John: Back there I could fly a gunship, I could drive a tank, I was in charge of million dollar equipment, back here I can't even hold a job PARKING CARS!

Really, what do you do with your life if all you know how to do is kill? There is a sweet moment between Aaron and Loretta as he teaches her what the animal tracks in the backyard are, but that looming shadow of "you will never fit in" is still drearily above him

I liked The Hunted. I would have liked it more if the "super-secret-military-'Aaron-Hallam-doesn't-exist'" arc had been left open to explore.

Instead, it feels like Friedkin intended for us to despise Aaron for his brutal actions. Despite how wrong they are, I can't. Either it's because I've seen First Blood too much and my love for Benicio Del Toro's acting is getting in the way, or I'm missing something. Because I feel terrible for him.

The ending tag of the movie is of L.T. back up in his Canadian cabin burning Aaron's undelivered letters that mention his fears and desperation for L.T.'s advice or any sort of response at all. There was some small fleck of hope in those letters. Hope that Loretta and Irene could save him from himself. Hope that he could turn off that killing instinct. Hope that his father figure would hear him and offer up help.

It's bleak. We see the wolf from the beginning return in the distance and the movie ends with the Johnny Cash song again.

So what have I learned from this other than you can give me anything with Benicio Del Toro in it and I'll watch it?

Sometimes, life realistically emulated in film can be too dark. I turned it off feeling drained of happiness.

Robert Downey Jr. is STILL Iron Man

Iron Man 2 (2010)

Dir: Jon Favreau

Rated: PG13

This is probably going to be the only "new" review on this blog. Mostly because I started it to promote the lesser known/less watched films that snuck past our radars. And I wanted to do a few book reviews while I was at it. Come to think of it, I could actually review Matt Fraction's "Five Nightmares" storyline for the current Iron Man comics...

Okay enough. I saw the first Iron Man ten times in theaters. I have the ticket stubs as proof. It was the first movie in a long time that kept me interested the whole time and got me invested in the characters—even the bad guys. The fact that I love the character of Tony Stark because he's like a cross between the absent-minded professor and Batman (actually, Tony's richer than Bruce Wayne). He's a genius billionaire grease monkey playboy with a heart of poly alloys and an arc reactor and deep emotional stress regarding trust and the people closest to him.

So the first Iron Man was a total success in my book—and I couldn't think of anyone else to play Tony Stark than Robert Downey Jr. He is Tony Stark. 'Nuff said.

Onto the sequel... And I'm going to try and go easy on the spoilers. I know I have that warning up on the top of the page but if the movie is still in theaters when I post I feel like I'm being rude to the film makers.

I had tickets for the midnight showing of the IMAX Experience.

I bought my ticket last Thursday through MovieTickets.com

The theater was sold out—in the IMAX and the regular screenings. We were all amped up to see Iron Man 2 (one guy even came in with the mask on and got cheers) and buzzing in our seats. I couldn't sit still.

I even wore my Stark Industries shirt.

As everyone came in and filled all of the seats we had Mr. Usher Who Hates Disturbances give us that "shut off your cell phones and don't, for the love of God, text during the movie because it's annoying" speech. I turned my phone off. But not before using it to take a shot of the iPod app countdown that I had.

You can't read it, but that says "00:30:25"

Then the light's dimmed, we all got quiet and sat back for the trailers. The first ones, I honestly forgot what they were for. But TRON Legacy and Inception (a Christopher Nolan film) really got us going. The trailer for Twilight: Eclipse, however, was booed by all of us. And when I say that, think of over a hundred people hissing and making racket all at the same time. We were one organism. That was the power of this. I mean, it was even more charged than the first screening of Star Trek and that, coming from a Trekker, is powerful.

The movie started.

We all shut up and watched.

And by God, it was a good movie.

Hollywood is plagued by "bad sequel syndrome" but Iron Man 2 took what the first movie gave us and built upon it. We comic nerds got Justin Hammer (smarmy jerk extraordinaire—played by Mr. Affable Sam Rockwell) as a villain, Ivan Vanko AKA Whiplash (portrayed by Mickey Rourke in one of his best character roles) as another villain, and Tony Stark's own body as a third hurdle to surpass. Rhodes (I'm sorry, Terrence Howard, but I loved Don Cheadle more as Rhodey) felt more fleshed out as his character—Airman first, Tony's friend second, and in the end just extraordinary. He actually felt more like Tony's friend. I don't really know how to explain it...

As for Natalie (Natasha—it's Natasha Romanoff) as The Black Widow?

Holy hell. Scarlett Johansson knocked it out of the park. Literally. Okay, not literally, but she really—really—kicked some ass. Happy, our dear and beloved director Jon Favreau, FINALLY got to kick some ass on his own, too. Watch out for a Mike Tyson move from him and you'll know exactly what I mean.

I have no coherent words for how much I loved Sam Jackson as Nick Fury. He's just... WOW.

I will admit I am a big fan of the relationship (friendly and romantic) between Tony and Pepper. Not just from the movies, but in the comics as well. This film does not disappoint.

Character note: I don't agree with some of Pepper's taste in art. I can't stand Barnett Newman.

That pretty much rounds out my entire experience watching Iron Man 2. It does not disappoint. It surpassed my expectations almost entirely and even though the run time was long at two hours and four minutes it felt worth the length. Once again, I left the theater elated and feeling like every ounce of my energy spent waiting for the sequel was worth it—I never once felt bored. That is tough. I get bored fairly easily when it comes to superhero movies (don't get me started on Superman Returns). Not here.

I left the theater in high spirits, rolled down all of the windows in my CR-V, and blasted Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" and AC/DC's "Shoot to Thrill" as I drove out of the parking lot and home.

This was my stowaway during the film. The little repulsors in his hands somehow got turned on in the middle of the movie and I didn't notice until the end credits that my bag was glowing ever so much...

Now don't forget to stay during the credits. Sing along with the music, read ALL of those names that represent the people who poured their energy and hard work into making the film, and stay for that extra scene at the end. It sets up another member of the Avengers—one I've often considered the craziest. Let's just say when I was a kid I watched the "Asterix of Gaul" cartoon and read the comics... And they're kind of related. In a miniscule way. But you catch my drift.

Bottom line?

Go see Iron Man 2. It's excellent.